Download the First Chapter of A S.E.A.L. To Heal Your Marriage FREE

Darek’s passion for healing marriages stems from personal experience and his childhood influences. Darek’s exposure to self-help as a child forced him to understand what happened to his family, and after his own marriage collapsed, he spent the better part of a decade learning what happened and how to use his own experience for the greater good – keeping other families intact. Enter your name and email below!

Navy SEAL Trident

Darek Laviolette is a highly decorated, retired Navy SEAL with 24 years of service.

Darek served 9 combat deployments and is the recipient of the bronze star with valor. Though he experienced hundreds of dangerous missions, nothing in war prepared him for marriage.

But what he is most proud of, is the work he has done with men and women around the world helping them through rough spots in their marriage. He considers his book a public apology to his ex-wife and children and it serves as an operational guide to turn around a troubled marriage.

For the WIFE who is about to leave
(or already left) her husband.

Watch this quick video from Darek Laviolette.

For the HUSBAND whose wife has left
or is threatening to leave him.

Watch this quick video from Darek Laviolette
to find out what you should do now.

A Message for Husbands: What Personality is Your Wife?

Your wife is an Easy Going person if she wants everyone to get along, so conflict is hard on her. At her best, she is confident, consistent, witty, patient, peaceful, and very good listeners. At her worst, she can be resistant to change, fearful, indecisive, shy, unmotivated and resentful of being pushed.

Your wife is a Joyful person if she loves to have a good time and for her, almost anything goes. Mundane details can frustrate her. At her best, she is enthusiastic, optimistic, inspirational, funny, loving, and sincere, but at her worst she can talk too much, exaggerate, seem phony and forget responsibilities.

Your wife is a Command person if she wants to be appreciated for what she does and to get things done. Her action focus can create resentment from others. At her best she is a great leader, confident, goal oriented, independent, quick, and bold, but at her worst she can be bossy, impatient, temperamental, demanding, and arrogant.

Your wife is a Precise person if she really wants you to be sensitive to her feelings. She works hard to get everything right. At her best she is faithful, persistent, idealistic, creative, organized, and thoughtful but at her worst she can constantly think of negatives, act moody, feel guilty, spend too much time planning, and set standards too high.

What are people saying about "A SEAL to Heal a Marriage?

JohnDarek packed a grad school course in psychology, and Gary Chapman’s 5 love languages into one intense book.  I’ve been a pastor and ARMY Chaplain for 30 years. I’ve deployed to Iraq three times. I’ve watched countless military marriages flounder and fail. In every case the couple did not have the skills and self-awareness needed to do the hard work to make their marriage thrive. Darek Laviolette’s gut-honest testimony to his failure in his marriage is filled with practical, clear guidance to wives who are married to military members. It is a wake-up call to elite warriors and military members of all stripes. It is a clarion call to military couples drifting toward divorce. It guides the reader to self-awareness, growth while laying out a defined path to building what every military couple wants; i.e., a healthy, vibrant, growing marriage.

Chaplain (Colonel) John Morris, Chaplain, United States Army

Dr. Anthony CastroFinally!  A unique guide to cultivating a vibrant healthy marriage.  Our world has been captivated with the mystic world of a Navy SEAL.  This book allows the reader a glimpse of what these warriors face and how they come out on top on the battlefield and in life.  With a sense of humility, Laviolette does an outstanding job of weaving his military experiences to these timeworn interpersonal principles.

Dr. Anthony J. Castro
Clinical Psychologist
Author: Creating Space for Happiness. The Secret of Giving Room

A S.E.A.L. to Heal Your Marriage

There are 3 Huge Mistakes a Man Must AVOID if he wants to Save his Broken Marriage.

  • ``Archie Bunker Blunder”

    This is Criticizing her family in any way. A woman’s #1 priority in her marriage relationship is her emotional security. And a man who criticizes her parents, siblings, or children, is threatening her emotional security and this is a huge no-no.

  • ``Schindler’s List``

    It is a good thing to have a list of people you are helping to free from death in a Holocaust, but a man in a marriage who creates a list of all the great things he does, is just telling her that he isn’t listening to her, and he doesn’t care about her. He’s telling her that he is only focused on what he has done and accomplished and he is not focused on her wishes, needs, and desires.

  • ``Incredible Hulk”

    The Incredible Hulk transformed from a man into a monster whenever he was angry, and when a man gets angry he threatens the Emotional Security of his wife. If you find yourself in this situation you need to use a SEAL trick to regain control of your mind. Appreciate her beautiful hair, Appreciate your beautiful home. Appreciate the french toast that is sitting on your plate in front of you at the Denny’s you are sitting at. Anything you need to do to regain control of your mind. In SEAL Training, We go through Hell Week and stay awake for 5 days as part of our intensive training. This is impossible except for every SEAL who has graduated has done it and we do this by going meal to meal. We make it from one meal to the next and we focus on the next good thing, that might be the only good thing. And if we can do this for a week any man can make it through any little squabble in his marriage.

``A S.E.A.L. To Heal Your Marriage`` is a book for women who have left their husbands or are thinking about leaving. It's the book you give to the man who never understood you. If you still have some care or concern for what happens to him after you leave, this is the book to give him.

The book is available now at http://asealtohealyourmarriage.com/order/

$14.99 plus shipping and handling for the paperback version on Amazon or $9.99 for the downloadable ebook.

About Senior Chief DAREK LAVIOLETTE - US Navy SEAL (Retired)

Senior Chief DAREK LAVIOLETTE US Navy SEAL (Retired) is the author of A SEAL to Heal Your Marriage.

Recipient of the Bronze Star with Valor, and a veteran of 9 combat deployments, he is most proud of the work he has done counseling all the men and women through rough spots to save their marriages.

Get a Quick Peek Into The First Few Chapters of A S.E.A.L. To Heal Your Marriage

  • CHAPTER 1

    From Disaster to Awakening

    I Am the Problem in My Marriage—and I Can Fix It.

    In 2003, after more than a dozen years as a Navy SEAL, I found myself in a fierce battle on a mountaintop in Afghanistan.

    My daughter had been born the month before, on February 24, and the Navy gave me leave for the birth. The day I returned, I stepped off a CH-47 at the forward operating base and was welcomed by the guys. We had a little get-together to celebrate the birth. The next day, we were supposed to go shooting with some Afghan soldiers. We woke up early and spent the whole day firing rounds.

    At the end of the day, we received intelligence that a checkpoint about an hour away was going to be overrun by Al Qeida that night. We immediately loaded up and started on the drive.

    We arrived at Checkpoint 3, on the Pakistani border, as the sun was nearly setting. The light there can be weak and diffuse, but this evening was extremely clear...

  • Chapter 2

    THE REAL GOLDEN RULE

    Treat others as they wish to be treated

    Men and women are both be human, but each has very different needs that the opposite sex doesn’t understand or care about. Partners in a relationship are in tune with their own needs but rarely appreciate those of their spouses. Ignorance of these needs and how they vary according to gender is a root cause chipping away at a marriage. Seeing and meeting your partner’s needs is a vital step in getting your marriage where you want it to be. It’s something that husbands can begin doing immediately, on their own, to change the tone of their relationships, getting it out of trouble or keeping it healthy before unhappiness appears.

    We are going to focus on women for the moment. Above all else, a woman wants to be chosen, and her debut “chosen event” is her wedding day. This process of choosing her falls into two distinct categories, since a woman who feels emotionally and financially secure is a very happy girl...

  • Chapter 3

    Our “program” for marriage is formed by age ten

    When I was stationed in Virginia Beach, Sam and I had a friend from San Diego whose sister was coming to see her from California. Our friend decided to have a little get-together during the visit. This was nothing fancy, just a few drinks and a barbecue in their backyard. It didn’t matter much what time we arrived or what we wore. This should have been a relaxing evening to look forward to, but I was never relaxed in those days.

    Getting ready for an event was always a tense time for Sam and me. On this night, she was doing her best to get dressed and get the kids ready, and the whole time, I was trying to rush her out the door. While she was getting the kids prepared and putting on makeup and taking care of whatever needed to be done, we had this constant banter going in which I accomplished nothing other than stressing her out. It had gotten to the point that my mere presence was a source of stress. Before the evening even started, I was unwittingly turning something fun into a chore...

  • Chapter 4

    The Bad Wolf

    You are getting help sabotaging your marriage

    Are you a good person?

    Nearly everyone answers this question in the affirmative. Most require a little help with another, related question: Do you want good things for yourself and the people you love? Perhaps you’ve done some bad things or steered away from the path you wanted to follow. Since you want good things for yourself and others, that means you are essentially a good person. Do you ever wake up and say, ``I hope I have a terrible day?`` Of course not. You'd never wish that upon yourself, so why are bad days so plentiful?

    It is a scientific fact that a positive thought and a negative thought can't occur in your head at the exact same moment. Skeptical? Try it. Think of the worst thing that happened to you. Now, think of the best thing that happened. Try to think about those memories at the exact same moment. Can’t be done.

CHAPTER 1

From Disaster to Awakening

I Am the Problem in My Marriage—and I Can Fix It.

In 2003, after more than a dozen years as a Navy SEAL, I found myself in a fierce battle on a mountaintop in Afghanistan.

My daughter had been born the month before, on February 24, and the Navy gave me leave for the birth. The day I returned, I stepped off a CH-47 at the forward operating base and was welcomed by the guys. We had a little get-together to celebrate the birth. The next day, we were supposed to go shooting with some Afghan soldiers. We woke up early and spent the whole day firing rounds.

At the end of the day, we received intelligence that a checkpoint about an hour away was going to be overrun by Al Qeida that night. We immediately loaded up and started on the drive.

We arrived at Checkpoint 3, on the Pakistani border, as the sun was nearly setting. The light there can be weak and diffuse, but this evening was extremely clear...

Chapter 2

THE REAL GOLDEN RULE

Treat others as they wish to be treated

Men and women are both be human, but each has very different needs that the opposite sex doesn’t understand or care about. Partners in a relationship are in tune with their own needs but rarely appreciate those of their spouses. Ignorance of these needs and how they vary according to gender is a root cause chipping away at a marriage. Seeing and meeting your partner’s needs is a vital step in getting your marriage where you want it to be. It’s something that husbands can begin doing immediately, on their own, to change the tone of their relationships, getting it out of trouble or keeping it healthy before unhappiness appears.

We are going to focus on women for the moment. Above all else, a woman wants to be chosen, and her debut “chosen event” is her wedding day. This process of choosing her falls into two distinct categories, since a woman who feels emotionally and financially secure is a very happy girl...

Chapter 3

Our “program” for marriage is formed by age ten

When I was stationed in Virginia Beach, Sam and I had a friend from San Diego whose sister was coming to see her from California. Our friend decided to have a little get-together during the visit. This was nothing fancy, just a few drinks and a barbecue in their backyard. It didn’t matter much what time we arrived or what we wore. This should have been a relaxing evening to look forward to, but I was never relaxed in those days.

Getting ready for an event was always a tense time for Sam and me. On this night, she was doing her best to get dressed and get the kids ready, and the whole time, I was trying to rush her out the door. While she was getting the kids prepared and putting on makeup and taking care of whatever needed to be done, we had this constant banter going in which I accomplished nothing other than stressing her out. It had gotten to the point that my mere presence was a source of stress. Before the evening even started, I was unwittingly turning something fun into a chore...

Chapter 4

The Bad Wolf

You are getting help sabotaging your marriage

Are you a good person?

Nearly everyone answers this question in the affirmative. Most require a little help with another, related question: Do you want good things for yourself and the people you love? Perhaps you’ve done some bad things or steered away from the path you wanted to follow. Since you want good things for yourself and others, that means you are essentially a good person. Do you ever wake up and say, ``I hope I have a terrible day?`` Of course not. You'd never wish that upon yourself, so why are bad days so plentiful?

It is a scientific fact that a positive thought and a negative thought can't occur in your head at the exact same moment. Skeptical? Try it. Think of the worst thing that happened to you. Now, think of the best thing that happened. Try to think about those memories at the exact same moment. Can’t be done.

Download the First Chapter of A S.E.A.L. To Heal Your Marriage FREE

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